Rethinking Schools- Volume 39, No 2

Table Talk: An IEP Meeting- from the Other Side

Anne Smith

In this article Anne Smith, a teacher of color, shares a personal account of the systemic challenges and racial bias she experienced while attending an  IEP meeting as a parent.   She makes the argument that the IEP process creates a false illusion of inclusivity to meet legal mandates.  She illustrates this through symbolism and metaphors describing the reality of the experience as being one-sided with predetermined outcomes supporting Lisa Delpit's theory.  This reading stirred so many emotions within me about my own experiences from both sides of the IEP table. 

I remember when my youngest daughter Maddie transitioned from Early Intervention into preschool (public).  My husband and I were surprised to learn she would be in a "special ed" classroom.  I was already very resistant to her attending PreK as I was working second shift and this would take away from our time together during the day.  I actually cried during the IEP meeting and it took much convincing on their part for me to agree with their plan. They even offered a compromise to help me through this difficult transition- instead of five days a week, Maddie would go to school three days.  I am grateful to those who advocated for her during my period of obliviousness.   Maddie also had social-emotional challenges.  She didn’t exhibit what might be called “bad behaviors” but she struggled with emotional regulation, transitioning, etc.-needs that were addressed in her IEP.   At some point nearing the end of kindergarten, the social-emotional piece was removed from her IEP, despite frequent (DAILY) crying episodes.  This was not directly communicated to us and we were completely unaware of this change or what it would mean.  During that meeting they spoke of how bright Maddie was (the only thing my husband heard) and as a result,  she was being moved out of the “inclusion class” for first grade.  Her teacher also recommended that we focus on helping our five year old become more "mature" over the summer.  

Just a few weeks into that next school year,  there were very noticeable changes in Maddie. A child who always enjoyed school and being with other children suddenly spent each morning in tears on the way to school.   Her teacher had a very strict demeanor and frequently yelled which was very upsetting to her. We only became aware of this through parents of other classmates. Maddie never said a word and it wasn’t until much later that we learned each time Maddie cried, instead of being provided with support, she would receive a penalty on the behavior chart.  In the teacher's defense, I think she was overwhelmed by the number of students in the classroom and the lack of support.  We reached out to the Principal who informed us that the school was unable to provide any services since this was not part of her IEP and advised us to seek outside counseling, which we did.  Maddie was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety. There was also concern for ADHD which would not be diagnosed until a few years later. Even with all the necessary documentation, she was still denied services since she was performing well academically.  While all this was happening, we were notified they would be discontinuing speech therapy at the end of the year and she would no longer be eligible for an IEP.  In a turn of events, her teacher advocated strongly for her, recommending she continue speech and suggesting she would greatly benefit from social-emotional intervention. She was insistent that if these needs were not addressed, in time they would impact her academically.  Her words fell on deaf ears.

Neither my husband nor I had any understanding of the IEP process and it was challenging to find resources to provide us with information on how to navigate that process.  I was not prepared for the battle ahead.  I fought with everyone-  the principal, the speech therapist, the psychologist and the head of special ed.  I was called “hostile” as my husband held a firm hand on my leg to prevent me from jumping over the table and strangling someone!   I could not understand how a system that was adamant she receive services when I believed she didn’t need them now refused to provide services that she clearly did need.  Despite feeling defeated, I continued the battle. Maddie was eventually granted a 504 plan and allowed one more year of speech.  Thankfully that Principal was transferred to another school the following year. She has had three different principals since then who have all been very supportive and in agreement with her need for a 504 plan.  However, she will soon be starting high school where once again we will be encountering that same principal who is now an assistant principal at that school.  I am already bracing myself.

Anne Smith expressed feeling overwhelmed and intimidated at the start of the meeting, describing how the large table had been arranged so that she was “surrounded by experts” symbolizing the systemic power imbalance.  She noted how the team members appeared disinterested and were just “going through the motions” of a meeting that was clearly a formality with a predetermined outcome. She considered how they viewed her through a stereotypical lens- only seeing a "disheveled, overweight, single, late black woman” unaware of her professional background and her understanding of the IEP process.  Her input was not welcome nor was her expertise valued. She was treated like an outsider rather than a collaborative partner. They didn’t see her seven year old child as a person either.  They only saw him as a statistic, defining him based on a file detailing his traumatic past. Using a deficit-based approach, they failed to consider his strengths and were ready to write him off, ignoring his future potential. 

The author felt defeated despite having “jumped through every hoop” and providing all the necessary documentation.  She used the metaphor of being a “piece of pepper expected to drown in a sea of salt" forced to remain passive and silent as a marginalized parent, thereby maintaining the culture of power.   The fate of her child had already been decided by those in power-  experts who believed they knew what was best for “other people’s children”.  However, she had an advantage that many do not.  Being a professional educator herself, she had knowledge of the codes of power, the language, the system and the process.   With this knowledge and her "Annecestors" -the inner strength she drew upon- she was able to find her voice. Understanding the rules of the game enabled her to "lean in", reclaim her power and demand the services they were legally required to provide to her son.

This experience prompted her to reflect on the many times she attended IEP meetings as an educator seated at her usual place on the other side of the table. She wondered how she herself may have caused someone to feel their voice didn’t matter.  Having this new perspective reminded her of something very important-  “As many stakeholders may be at the table, the person with the largest stake is simply a parent trying to do what’s best for a child.”

This personal narrative exemplifies Lisa Delpit's theories regarding culture of power and the silenced dialogue. It also describes a very negative experience much like the one we had with that awful principal.  I have also witnessed instances where an IEP or 504 plan should have been offered but was not, placing the responsibility on the parent to request a meeting- a process they can not initiate if they don't even know it exists.

It is my firm belief that no one should go into an IEP meeting feeling they are entering a battleground with the expectation they remain silent and powerless otherwise be perceived as hostile because they are advocating for their child.  Based on the positive experiences I have had with other principals, and IEP and 504 meetings where I sat across from the parent in my role as a school nurse,  I would like to believe that these are isolated occurrences but I know better.  The reality is unconscious bias, deficit-based thinking and a culture of power exist even in the best of schools and those with the least power are at the mercy of the dominant members of the education system.

https://rethinkingschools.org/articles/table-talk-an-iep-meeting-from-the-other-side/

IEP guidelines:  

https://www.ed.gov/sites/ed/files/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/iepguide.pdf