RI Laws and Policy/PPSD Policy
The purpose of RIDE Guidance is to ensure an educational environment that is safe and free from discrimination for all students, regardless of sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. It provides guidance to RI schools with specific provisions for non-gender conforming students regarding usage of names and pronouns, privacy and confidentialiy, restroom and locker room access, dress codes, gender-based activities and staff education.
After reading through the Providence Schools Policy, I searched but was unable to find a policy on my district website specifically pertaining to Trangender and Non Binary Individuals. Since I was not at work and seeing as it was close to dismissal time, I decided to call my daughter’s school instead to ask if there was one. I quickly regretted this decision. As usual, I first identified myself to the person answering as “Madison Silva’s mom!” I then asked if either the Principal or Assistant Principal (that I know) might be able to confirm if we had a policy and if so, where I could find it. I was met with SILENCE. I don't know who answered the phone, but for some reason I felt the need to clarify that I was not calling as a parent. I explained that I work in the district as a nurse and that it was something I was asking about for a school assignment. I was told they would connect me to the other assistant principal who is new in the position and someone I have never met. The phone disconnected. I called back again because I really wanted to be certain they understood that I wasn’t calling as a parent and furthermore, to assure them I wasn't calling to make a complaint. I was told she was looking for the policy. Whoever it was I spoke with returned and directed me to RIDE. This experience made me feel a little uncomfortable. I think it all began when my question was answered with silence. I wondered how I would feel if I had been calling as a parent with a concern and was met with that same silence.
Queering Our Schools
This reading told the story of Sasha Fleischman, a sixteen year old agender youth, whose skirt was set on fire and was seriously burned. I looked further into this incident that resulted in Sasha having to undergo three surgeries and spending three weeks in a burn unit. I was impressed by the grace shown for the boy who committed this horrible act, requesting he not be tried as an adult, describing his actions as being that of a "dumb teen" and advocating for more education. I will also admit that I had trouble writing this short summary. I was unsure what agender meant and assuming it was the same as non-binary, I believed that I could use the pronouns they/them. Then I noticed that there were no pronouns used in this text- only Sasha’s name.
As someone who remembers faces but has difficulty remembering names, remembering pronouns is even more difficult for me. Had I used they/them, I worry that I may have unintentionally been dispectful or insensitive, something that causes me concern. Before deciding to become a school nurse, I subbed in another district. I remember covering one school for the afternoon and during my five minute orientation, I was cautioned about a specific transgender student. I was told that a school nurse had used the incorrect pronoun when calling home to the parent which led to a discrimination complaint. Apparently this nurse had known the student for several years prior to changing their gender identity and it was merely a “slip”... such an easy mistake to make but there were grave repercussions.
This takes me back to my earlier comment this semester about my fear of saying the wrong thing or using the wrong language. Anyone who knows me will tell you I don’t care what you call me. If someone calls me by the wrong name, I will often let it slide so as not to draw attention to their error, especially if it isn't important for them to know my name. However, I do care deeply about maintaining my feminine pronouns and even more importantly, my title of “mother”. To me, those things make up a bigger part of my identity than my name. I have been “she” my whole life and “Mom” for almost thirty seven years. While I understand the intent behind shifting to gender neutral descriptors to ensure inclusion, it feels like an erasure of my personal identity. I often question if it is possible to be truly inclusive without being exclusive of others.
Having said all this, I want to be clear that I believe everyone should have the freedom to be true to oneself when it comes to gender and sexuality and be ensured a safe and supportive environment. Despite sometimes using the wrong terms, ensuring these rights and freedoms has always been important to me not only because of personal connections within my own family but also in my role as a nurse. I have witnessed first hand the devastating impact and psychological toll this has had on patients who were denied the right to be themselves. The Guidance for Rhode Island Schools on Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Students references the Journal of Adolescent Health (2015) report that transgender youth were more likely to report depression, anxiety, suicide attempts and self harm activities than students who were not transgender. In my experience, I can attest to these mental health challenges persisting throughout my patients’ adult lives. It is my hope that in my role as a school nurse, I can provide a safe and welcoming environment to support my students and prevent them from experiencing that same emotional distress. I have included a link for an interview with a trangender student sharing thoughts in response to a 2023 CDC report examining trangender identity in students and the social outcomes.
During my four years working as an elementary school nurse, I have only had one student who appeared to be navigating their identity. While I was never formally notified by the school or parent, a staff member shared that the student experienced some changes the previous year that indicated she may have been struggling with her identity. The record did not list a preferred name and when I called home on several occasions, the parent used female pronouns. The student never disclosed her feelings to me but used the health office bathroom exclusively and visited the office frequently, leading me to believe she felt it was a safe haven.
In my district, school nurses teach the 5th grade growth and development class. We are required to follow the district approved curriculum- an education program provided through Procter & Gamble. These videos assume that all students identify as cisgender and come from two-parent heterosexual households. I send home the usual letters to families beforehand indicating that classes are taught separately to boys and girls and also provide them with links to the specific videos that students will be watching. I always encourage families to call me with any questions or concerns. They are also given the opportunity to sign and return the form should they decide to opt out.
Reflecting on my call to the school earlier today, I wonder if I reached the wrong person or if the timing was a factor. However, the interaction does not align with my belief that this school is committed to providing a supportive and inclusive environment. There is the GSA club which is for the LGBTQ+ community and friends. Some teachers' classrooms display Pride flags and posters. My daughter has always spoken of there being a zero tolerance policy against bullying and how teachers are protective of students. She believes this is because they are mostly Democrats!
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